The Psychic mind

QUESTION: How does it feel to access the psychic mind?



I wouldn’t call it a psychic mind, in my experience, the mind (which is really like a hard drive with software called thoughts) can actually interfere with clear accurate psychic abilities.

The mind’s function is to interpret and translate what we pick up via the senses and what we pick up intuitively.

For example, think of when we are trying to remember someone’s name. We feel or sense that the information is there, and then the mind helps to translate what we are already tuned-in to.  

So, I’ve discovered that the key to intuition and psychic abilities is actually simple, its Attention.

Whatever we put our attention on we are tuned into intuitively whether we know this consciously or not.

  • We can put our attention on any of the physical senses, like putting attention on ‘hearing’ and suddenly noticing more information about what we can hear, or putting attention on ‘seeing’ and suddenly being able to gather more knowledge about what we are seeing.
  • We can also put attention on our inner senses, on thoughts, on memories, on feelings etc.

So there isn’t a specific feeling that indicates that we are tuning-in intuitively.

This is why it takes a lot of practice and focus to learn to notice the difference between psychic information and ordinary day-to-day information gathering.

We are often tuning-in and feeling other people’s feelings for example, but not realising it. By placing our attention on others, we are always tuned-in to them, but most don’t know this and miss the subtle information that has become available.

By learning to consciously direct our attention we can also become conscious of the changes in the body and emotions that are linked to what we are tuned into. Then we can learn to help the mind to translate this information accurately without filtering or distorting.

Do you access psychic awareness randomly or by using a specific method?

Because we are all actually tuning-in intuitively most of the time, but simply not realising it, some discover their conscious intuition randomly, and others by trying out a method.

I first “bumped in to” psychic abilities randomly as a child and then went about slowly testing and refining this skill until I developed a methodology for myself.

This methodology helped me to consciously use my intuition, become better at translating and interpreting subtle intuitive insights and then even to teach many, many others over the decades.  

Whatever methodology you use, I feel it’s important to always include a way to remain discerning, because the mind often distorts and misinterprets raw intuitive data.

How did you first become aware of your psychic abilities?

My earliest stand out memory is from junior primary school when I discovered that a friend and I had shared the same dream. That was a significant clue for me that what we are is more than what the eyes can see.

This friend and I, Ann, played many telepathy games on the school playground, she would think of numbers and I would try to pick them up intuitively. We had a very successful level of accuracy.

As I kid I really thought innocently that I had discovered what I later learned was called “psychic abilities”.

In my teens I started doing intuitive readings, I wanted to test whether intuition and psychic abilities were real. After many years of testing and pushing this to the limit, I was satisfied that it was possible to access information beyond the traditional known limits of the human body.

I then spent the next 20 years researching and working with understanding why and how this was possible.

This became, at least for me, much more important than the abilities themselves. The fact that we can do this tells us something important about what we really are. That became the more interesting focus of my intuitive work for the past 20 years.

Do psychic abilities get stronger or weaker with age?

It depends on whether intuition is nurtured or neglected.

These are natural abilities, not only for the gifted few, but they need development and they need to be balanced by discernment and intellect.

The ego can easily hijack intuition and use it to reinforce superstition, fear or false beliefs.

Sadly, for most, they fade as they get older, but I’ve seen with many students that they can easily be rekindled and developed, no matter what the age.

If everyone is able to access their psychic mind why don’t we?

3 reasons: An ignorant mind, a dull mind or a restless mind.

  • Ignorance  – is simply not knowing that intuition and psychic abilities are possible for anyone. Ignorance is not understanding how this works and why. And ignorance makes space for fear and superstition, which are such a pity because psychic abilities and intuition are completely natural and can be a wonderful helpful skill in life.
  • A dull mind – means that even if someone is not ignorant, they will not be able to easily pick up on the subtle information coming to them naturally. The mind is like a muddy reflective surface, it doesn’t register what it’s reflecting. In Sanskrit (an ancient language that has a vocabulary for consciousness) this is called a Tamasic mind. Our minds can become Tamasic from tiredness, poor diet or from a lack of education (development of the intellect). Tamasic minds tend to interpret intuitive information in a distorted way, with a lot of fear and superstition.
  • A restless mind – means that even if someone is not ignorant, they will battle to focus for long enough to get enough of the information to complete their understanding, like seeing only a few pieces of the puzzle. They tend to get fragmented bits and pieces, instead of the complete picture. In Sanskrit, this is called a Rajasic mind. Our minds become Rajasic from stimulants, from poor diet or from being discontent. Rajasic minds tend to interpret intuitive information in a fragmented overly personalised way, with a lot of ego and desire filtering the information. 

What helps is to develop a clear intelligent educated mind.

That way, when we tune in intuitively, the mind translates accurately, without distortion or misinterpretation. In Sanskrit, this is called Sattvic.

We can develop a Sattvic mind by using our intellects, spending time in nature, practising mindfulness or meditation, appreciating beauty, bringing order and harmony to our environment (decluttering), eating in a way that helps the mind to stabilise.


Is it possible to learn how to access psychic mind?

Yes. It helps to develop a Sattvic mind (see above) and to learn more about intuition from a reliable teacher.

Look for a balance of grounded discernment and practical understanding. Pay attention to attention, and notice that you are already tuning in intuitively, it’s just a case of learning to do this consciously and learning to interpret and translate the information properly.   

The universe is like a cosmic scale library of knowledge.
This knowledge is available to anyone willing to learn to tune-in.  

Are you being Spiritual?

What does it mean to “be spiritual”? Is it spiritual to fight? Is there even such a thing as being “spiritual”? This is an important topic that might ruffle some ego feathers, so be warned.

When we say “I’m being spiritual” or “That’s not a very spiritual thing to do?” we may believe that we are helping ourselves or others, to get to some destination called ‘spiritual’ – but if you follow the logic of truth, then this type of belief is seen for what it is, just another belief… and one that can completely block true perception, and cause painful destruction in your life.

The true self, as ordinary awareness, is not a flag in the sand. It is not: “I am this point of view”.

When we take ourselves as a position, as a point of view, we limit our perception to that point of view. This is ego at its best. This is its Maya dance – to turn a point of view into an identity. A point of view, is merely that, a point of view. You are not a point of view.
This is ego at its best.

This is its Maya dance – to turn a point of view into an identity. A point of view, is merely that, a point of view. You are not a point of view.

Well-meaning folks, a past younger version of my mind included, would agonise over what the ‘spiritual’ response to life events should be. When a friend stole from me many years ago, and when my spiritual ego identity was still intact, I laboured for days with – “It’s not spiritual to be angry!” I would berate myself.

“Aren’t I supposed to love her unconditionally and accept her?”, “What should I do now?” These where questions that tortured my nervous system.

When a lover broke his promises, and lied, again there it was the spiritual identity chiming and hurting my body with: “This was obviously our soul’s agreement, so I should just be spiritual about this, and respond with kindness and love”.

Brace yourself – this is tough love truth. The spiritual identity that feeds these thoughts and gives them power is the issue. Ego is mask. Any mask. Even one we call ‘spiritual’ is a mask. Not true, merely covering what is true.

Ego is mask. Any mask. Even one we call ‘spiritual’ is a mask. Not true, merely covering what is true.

This is where real enlightenment can seem completely at odds with spiritual idealised fantasy. Many spiritual seekers have an idea of what enlightened spiritual people are meant to look like, sound like and how they are supposed to act.

Then to reach this special destination or to ‘be the one who is enlightened’, ego hijacks an image of ‘spiritual’ or ‘enlightened’ and emulates this.

That is not to say that people should not live good, clean lives, life works tirelessly through karma to teach the soul ‘right action’. But ‘trying to be good’, and ‘trying to act spiritual are poisons’. “Trying is lying”, as my business partner Chantel says.

Ego is always acting. Always pretending. Ego is self-image – an image is not real, it’s an image. An idea. A point of view, a concept. It has no weight, no substance, no reality. It is a projection of the mind that veils the true. And so, ironically, folks with a spiritual identity are as ego driven and ignorant as anyone with a false identity. “I am spiritual” is as false as “I am not spiritual”.

The true ‘I’ cannot wear the clothes of the ego, does not mould itself to any imagined shape or idea. The true, ordinary, non-dual awareness, is not held captive by the mind. Like a screen is not touched by a movie no matter how lovely or ugly the scene, no matter how we dress the characters.

Spiritual looking and sounding characters are as illusionary as the burger eating, beer drinking materialistic character on the screen. All identities are concepts, not real. They are projected by the mind on the screen of consciousness. Consciousness is unmoved by the movie.

Spiritual looking and sounding characters are as much of an illusion as the burger eating, beer drinking materialistic character on the screen of consciousness. All identities are false.

Now that being said, setting aside that metaphor for now, let’s look at life and what the “true” response is or rather, where it is sourced. Life operates according to its own innate intelligence. And it does so automatically.

Birds fly, eyelashes grow, personality flowers, mind matures, souls evolve – these are all a part of the dance of life. And life looks after itself. It has laws and innate intelligence. This is the role of divinity. There is this great, awe-inspiring innate, automatic, intelligence, moving galaxies and causing feelings and thoughts to arise.

When the mind is shrouded by ignorance of the true self, and therefore is hypnotised by the false ego movie identity of “I am spiritual” (or any other identity) suffering ensues. Also, life’s spontaneous, intuitive and true movement is blocked and distorted by this ignorance.

So when ‘friend steals your money’, or ‘lover lies’, or dharma (the natural laws of life) is breached, there is always a spontaneous, wise and true response available in that moment.

This spontaneous, wise and true response cannot happen if the ego mind is puppeteer and pulling strings. These strings will sound like thoughts about trying to be spiritual, and will feel in the heart like inner conflict and suffering.

When dharma (the natural laws of life) is breached, there is always a spontaneous, wise and true response available in that moment.

The Dharma field, which is life, is free of desire and fear (which is born of ignorance and ego) and it will move as your body and feelings, it’s movement is perfect and innocent when free false identity.

When the false identity is in charge, the movement is painful, causes division, breaks families apart, leads to feeling lost and triggers suffering. Ironically false identity causes a break in dharma, even “spiritual identity”. A true dharma response to a break in dharma, could also look like something very “nonspiritual”.

I am reminded of how in the Bhagavad Gita Krishna commands Arjuna to pick up his sword and fight in the war. Arjuna doesn’t want to fight, and lays down his sword. He doesn’t want to go to war with his cousins and family.

Krishna has to reveal the truth of his nature, as non-dual awareness in order for Arjuna to accept his dharma and fight a truly righteous war. I love this example because “war” is labelled as so “nonspiritual” to the spiritual ego. This makes me think of how so many minds, held prisoner by a spiritual identity wear masks of polite love, and block appropriate wise “right action”.

Here is a translated quote of Krishna telling Arjuna to go to war.

“And even considering your personal dharma as well, it is not right for you to hesitate. There is nothing better for a warrior than a fight based on dharma.” (Bg. 2.31) The Bhagavad Gita

We feel it when dharma is breached. Dishonesty. Theft. Taking what is not ours. Ill-gotten gain. People taking the wrong places in a family structure – pretending to be parents when they are not, etc. These breaches of Dharma have karmic consequences.

Life looks after this through the Dharma field. The body and the mind are woven from the fabric of the Dharma field. There is an appropriate dharma aligned response to life. No one can tell you what that is, or anticipate in advance what that will be.

Mind has no dominion here. Self-honesty, maturity and wisdom are required for life move with dharma. And it this movement is always love. But this love does not look like the cliché spiritual identity image.

This love can rage with a fierce grace to restore dharma. This love can move like Kali the destroyer of worlds. This love can also bow in acceptance and let go. This love can laugh like a child, work hard to pay bills, and do its duty with dignity. This love can move to help with such tender gentleness, and it can equally can move to pick up its sword and fight.

This love moves cleanly, without arrogance, and is not driven by personal fear or desire. Ego is always hungry, it always wants for itself. It’s always defending itself and attacking others. This is not ego. It is different, entirely. It is impersonal love and impersonal war.

If you want to know if an action is born of ignorant ego, or if it is life’s dharma field moving appropriately, look and feel honestly in your body. The body is very sensitive to dharma. We feel closed when we move against life.

We feel open when we move with life. Even anger, sadness, even wielding a sword of truth can be an open movement of clean, wise dharma.

This is not an excuse for breaking dharma. This is not a get out of jail free card for the ego to hijack another truth and use it to cause more suffering. This is an invitation to spot the tricky fox of the ignorant ego-mind, as it builds its false images of self.

These self-images are the false idols warned of in the old testament – and a spiritual self-image is still that, a mirage, an image.

This is Maya’s game in the ancient teachings of Vedanta, where God’s powers of veiling and projection are given to the soul, that it might experience apparently be in the life that it is. Until it’s time, until the soul is mature. Ready to break open like a seed.

To liberate the mind with the truth. To see “ah – I am NO image. I am that I am, non-dual, ordinary, action-less awareness. Life happens in me, and life oversees life. Life flows through and as my soul, body and mind. May my mind be illumined by the truth, and be set free of all false identities.”

Here spiritual and physical collapse as mere concepts in the mind. Sand castles built on the seashore by the ancient child mind at play. There is only awareness. There is no person. Beware my friends of the “spiritual identity”, it is amongst the trickiest of tricksters. It uses the appearance of truth and distorts it to keep your mind in prison and poisoned.

When free of the false spiritual identity, we are free of the mind, heart fills with love, peace and deep acceptance. We leave all outcomes to life, and when its time, we pick up our dharma swords and we fight.~

Colleen-Joy ~ Enlightened Apple Tree.

How to live I am love

Question and Answer:
“Having done Baruchs courses I have the answer to who I am. The clarity is working with “I am love ” every day. Is there a way to really live this daily, easy question not an easy answer I am certain. I find myself trying to love everyone despite my own guide that not everyone wants to be loved like I offer it.

Spending the time with the other is often the default that I go to. I do realise that we all have needs and this may not answer the others needs” P

Dear P,
P: “Having done Baruchs courses I have the answer to who I am.” Colleen-Joy: In moments of inspiration, or clear seeing, it is possible for the mind to translate deep seeing into words. In that moment and relevant to that time in our life, these words can be important and meaningful, especially when they reveal something of our true nature.

A problem can arise when the answer as words become a mantra in the mind, an object of attention used by the mind to reinforce the sense of being a separate self. The separate self does not love, it needs.

P: The clarity is working with “I am love ” every day.

Colleen-Joy: If the true “I am love” is known, there would be no need to work with it every day. No need to prove, do or reinforce. The true self needs no reminding of, reinforcing, or working. The only work needed is to remove what is in the way of seeing and knowing the true self as love.

What is in the way is called ignorance of the true self. So although the words “I am love” point to the truth of what the self is, as non-dual awareness, the words themselves have been co-opted by the mind to become a project. In this way the mind can actually cloud your seeing that you (as awareness, as pure open knowing, not as a person) are indeed love.

P: Is there a way to really live this daily. Easy question not an easy answer I am certain.

Colleen-Joy: Can a tree live daily as a tree? Yes. But then it must not be confused about itself or try to be something that it is not. It must neither be trying to be a tree. When we don’t know our true self and take ourselves as thoughts and ideas, we might be “trying to be” instead of just being ourselves.

Trying is a clue that the mind’s beliefs are in charge of the efforts and the true natural self is still unknown. The true self is that we are awareness, open, boundless awake knowing. Every thought and feeling that arises in awareness is known by awareness.

The thought “I am love” is only a pointer inwards to discover the truth, that awareness is love. As love, there is no need to prove or do anything necessarily with that love. Love moves spontaneously and naturally in each movement, is not contrived, has no needs and is not trying to fulfil others needs. The minds interpretation of love is that love happens when two separate people fulfil each other’s needs or “fall in love”. This is not the love as the true self, though it might echo the true.

P: I find myself trying to love everyone despite my own guidance that not everyone wants to be loved like I offer it. Colleen-Joy: The mind cannot love everyone. The mind, as software is built to divide and project duality.

The mind makes it seem that we are separate selves. The mind is in awareness, it is an object appearing to, on and in awareness. If we take ourselves as the mind, we feel separate, and we try to love, try to find happiness and try to get our apparent needs fulfilled by others.

Even the need to fulfil others needs is our own minds projected need. The true self, as awareness is whole and complete, needing nothing including not needing to fulfil others needs.

P: Spending the time with the other is often the default that I go to. I do realise that we all have needs and this may not answer the other’s needs.

Colleen-Joy: Spending time with the self, as awareness is a focus of attention needed to really discover that the self is whole and is love.

Seeing our personality programs, which arise in the mind-body and learning to discern that as awareness, we are not ultimately our program (for example some programs feel compelled to help and fulfil others needs in order to feel loved and needed) is liberation from the program.

When we establish clarity that we are awareness and not an object in awareness (a thought, feeling or personality need), then we feel liberated from those emotional needs. The next step we take is to reclaim the objects of awareness as being the self, and this is true unconditional love.

Awareness, knowing, the non-dual self loves because it is love.

This love is free of need. All needs die in this love.

All love, Colleen

How to live the truth of who I am?

Dear Colleen, I have also completed Baruch ‘s workshops and know I am Truth. My struggle is to find balance without compromising who I am.

Truth is for me, rooted in love, in saying that, humanity is so afraid of it, run from it and reject it.

I find myself second guessing my intuition out of fear, which is not love…. what can I do to move past this, break the cycle and live true to who I am? S

Dear S S: I have also completed Baruch ‘s workshops and know I am Truth.

Colleen-Joy: The words “I am truth” point to the accurate reality of the nondual self, of pure awareness. However, if we don’t realize this true “I” then what will claim this I is the mind and thought. And herein lies the problem because the mind creates a fictional identity that it labels as “I” – and then it is the mind that is claiming the “I am truth”.

Right now, right here be aware of yourself as immediate, ordinary awareness. Not as something that you are aware of (which we call objects in awareness). Be aware of being aware. Awareness is the truth. In awareness, thoughts arise. Even thoughts like “I am the truth”.

S: My struggle is to find balance without compromising who I am. Truth is for me, rooted in love, in saying that, humanity is so afraid of it, run from it and reject it.

Colleen-Joy: To honor the deepest truth is the highest love. But the deepest truth requires the seeing and the falling away of the false. Not in the world, but inside of us. The desire to not comprise on this seeing of the deep truth is the highest desire – you love yourself enough to want this. It requires courage. While we still believe and live as a separate personal self then being true to our authentic intuitive sense of “I” is a path of integrity.

Yes, the mind can be afraid of truth, so the gentle meeting of the mind and of other minds where they are, at their place of perspective is an act of wise love. Only the mind wants to prove something, to stand for something.

Stand as awareness, as love, discover yourself as that love, as awareness, and then soon this truth will claim all territory, leaving your life as a radiant expression of truth and love.

S: I find myself second guessing my intuition out of fear, which is not love…. what can I do to move past this, break the cycle and live true to who I am?

Colleen-Joy: Fear is always born of ignorance, of some missing understanding or of a perspective that obscures our seeing.

But at its deepest root, it is also love. Like when as children, we were afraid of shadows in the dark, only to turn on the light and see that the mind was projecting false images and thoughts on reality. Fear is False, Evidence, Appearing, Real.

For there to be a universe, there is a movement of love that causes the universe into being. Love casts shadows that make it seem as if we are all separate but turn on the light and see that the shadows, fear are illusions.

Under it all is untouched, eternal love – this is “I am truth”. The body’s survival programming needs and uses fear to sustain biological life – this is also an act of love.

The mind under ignorance uses fear to cast shadows and illusions. If a spark of love of truth has arisen, then it is time to turn on the light. Courageously looking at the shadows, turning on the light by seeking, finding and embodying truth is the path. Gently, with love. That is how we break the cycle to move past this.

You are already awareness, you are already the true self. You are already love, peace and joy. Nothing has the power to change that or keep that from you.

Only the shadows cast by the belief in the mind make it appear otherwise. Enlightenment is bringing the light of truth into the darkness. Our lives are the sacred space where this is lived.

With love Colleen

How to find my life purpose

Hi Col, I always have questions that have never changed. Days like today when I feel a bit lost because I’ve lost sight of my purpose I thought I knew how to remain on that path but the “real world” stepped in.

1. How do I find my true purpose?
2. How do I answer the call and remain true to myself?
3. How do I regain the sight/vision or have I now lost that ability?


Dear Niqui

Niqui: I always have questions that have never changed.

Colleen-Joy: The questions that stay, that nag us are the most important ones. Only the absolute true answer, seen completely and embodied has the power to end the question. In this way questions are gifts, they put us on the path of seeking truth. Eventually truth ends the seeking and thoughts that called themselves ‘seeker’.

Niqui: Days like today when I feel a bit lost because I’ve lost sight of my purpose

Colleen-Joy: Feeling lost has a gift. It stops us. It asks us to look within. It might be uncomfortable and even painful, but it is a call home. A call to the true self. Your truest purpose cannot be lost or found, because it is who you are, not something you can do. When we believe that our purpose is a “doing” we focus on that and then can “lose” that. But who we are is always there, waiting to be fully seen, fully known, never lost. This seeing frees us from a need for a purpose. And ironically frees us to move in service and love according to our function in life.

Niqui: I thought I knew how to remain on that path but the “real world” stepped in.

Colleen-Joy: Paths come and go. Up then down, left then right. Dead-ends now then open roads next. Purpose is not to find the path; it is to know who it is that walks the path.
The “real world”, which I take your meaning to be life’s daily demands, has no power over the true self. Find this true self, meet it on your current path.

Niqui: How do I find my true purpose?

Colleen-Joy: By finding the true self.

Years ago in a time of deep life challenge I asked out of deep pain, “What is my purpose? What must I do?”. The voice of inner truth answered me with “You are asking the wrong question. You must ask ‘Who am I?”.
In that moment I didn’t understand how finding out who I am was going to help me, but I was desperate and so I listened. My inner truth then said to help my mind understand, “If you were an apple tree, and you didn’t know that you were an apple tree, how would you know what to do?” – this is the truth. We feel lost when the true self is hidden from us, like a cloud over the sun. The true self is not something we become, we need only remove the cloud of ignorance and we find ourselves as the light of awareness. An apple tree’s purpose is to be an apple tree. In winter this looks different to summer, but always it is an apple tree. Our purpose is to find our true selves, then the apple tree can do its job, fulfill its function in life and be an apple tree.

It is appropriate to want to have a career that honors the true expression of our apple tree, but also remember that an apple tree is an apple tree right now, regardless of where it is in life.

Niqui: How do I answer the call and remain true to myself?

Colleen-Joy: As the zen folks say “Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.” Realise the true self, then there is no need to remain true, it is in fact impossible not to be our true selves. While we think we are trapped in personalities, minds and bodies, that is where the suffering comes from. When we realise we are open, awake pure awareness, then the body, mind and personality function and express in the highest. Body, mind and the apple tree design become expressions of love, expressions of awareness, expressions of divine intelligence.

Every moment is on purpose. The call is to see this, to know yourself as awareness, and to let the love, peace and joy of awareness illuminate life.

Niqui: How do I regain the sight/vision or have I now lost that ability?

Colleen-Joy: By knowing that you are awareness, you are the seer of the seen. You are that from which sight and vision arise. We might close our physical eyes, but awareness never opens or closes. Even in sleep, we are awareness, aware of the dream, aware of the sleeping mind, aware of the still mind of deep sleep. The mind changes, the nervous system changes, all objects in awareness change, hidden then revealed. But awareness is not an object in awareness, awareness is that which is aware of all objects. You can never lose you as awareness. Find this, soak in this like a wonderful warm bath on a cold day. It is ordinary. It is peace, love and joy. It is home. From this, as this, life moves in harmony with life. Every movement is purpose. Then the apparent divide between you and your purpose will be no more.

All love


Self-worth issues

Hi Colleen,
I have been struggling with some questions today and here I see this post!! Always amazed at the timing of things. So my Questions.

1. When dealing with self-worth issues, why is it so hard to make the right choices and not go back to the old way of feeling?
2. How do I stick to my boundaries and not fold under pressure?
3. How do I let go of a toxic relationship when still love him? thank you


Dear Amanda

Amanda: When dealing with self-worth issues, why is it so hard to make the right choices and not go back to the old way of feeling?

Colleen-Joy: The main issue lies in what we mean when we say “self”. When the true self is known, self-worth issues fall away. When a false self is believed in, self-worth issues arise. It hurts to believe that we are separate little creatures fighting for scraps of love, peace and joy. It hurts because the true self is love, peace and joy. To esteem and find worth in the true self is the greatest of gifts. When the true self is known, this knowing bring such nourishment that no external nourishment is needed anymore. We no longer seek love when we know and see that we are love. Knowing the true self as whole, as awareness, as open awake love is finding home in the self as the self.

It is impossible to make “right” choices, if what you mean by right, is pain-free. The river doesn’t stop itself at the top of the hill to find the ‘right’ way down. It gathers strength and meets every obstacle with its flow. When we know the true self, we meet life’s obstacles with the strength and flow of the love, peace and joy that is who we are. Decisions are intuitive, spontaneous and made moment by moment from the perspective of love, peace and joy.
Feelings arise and fall in the true self as awareness. If we believe that we are separate selves, then it is most freeing to realize that we are not our feelings, they are in us, we are not in them. We are not our thoughts; they are in us. Feelings and thoughts arise as objects of awareness. This is commonly known as neti-neti-neti the path of negation. Awareness, the true self, is not trapped in an object, it is free of objects and the apparent limitation of the objects. Awareness, the true self is whole, needs nothing and is love, peace and joy.

Amanda: How do I stick to my boundaries and not fold under pressure?

Colleen-Joy: When we believe the thoughts that cause us suffering, we are at the mercy of the mind. Like a pendulum that must swing back one way, after swinging the other way, the mind tries to assert a position only to fold under pressure and find itself where it didn’t want to be. Try to not see the colour red. The more we try, the more red will dominate. This is the nature of the mind. As they say “What we resist persists”. Only the true self has the position of being equal to all opposites, seeing from the fulcrum where it is free of all apparent duality.

It can help to work on what we believe we need from the world or from others, and then to find that in ourselves. It can also help to really face our minds and not let thoughts convince us anymore – to test them for truth. It can help to find our wholeness, and know that we are equal to everything and everyone, needing nothing.

Amanda: How do I let go of a toxic relationship when still love him? thank you

Colleen-Joy: By handing back burdens in the mind-body that might be inherited from family patterns. And ultimately by finding the true self and falling in love with you. Love doesn’t need. When you find the true love of the self as the self, need falls away. This love can say no.

All love


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