Spiritual Awakening is your Soul Spring.
This is a love letter to the self, from the self, in appreciation for awakening.
In your Soul Spring, you have awakened to the possibilities of being more than what the eyes can see.
You have had glimpses of the true self, the self that is free.
Thank you self for waking from slumber.
Although the sleep was a grand adventure, I grew weary of different identities and the never ending stream of dreams and nightmares.
And like in my dreams, I sensed there was a true self, a Dreamer somewhere.
My mind had no evidence, no proof that you existed.
My heart and intuition told me, “there is more to life that what you see” and my body felt your presence.
But when I believed that I was a separate self, that belief kept my mind locked, hypnotized by the dream of my life and my story.
Thank you for becoming more interesting than the dreams of life, than the story of Colleen.
Thank you for the lucid seeing, that opened windows in the prison mind, letting me see the truth and so that I could know you as the true I.
Reader, if you feel trapped in life, remember that all dreams feel very real until you wake to another reality. Just so, if you believe in a separate self, then the story of life will feel very real, that is until you wake to the true reality of being.
Oh Dreamer, true self, I realize that ultimately you never slept, it was only the character in the story that seemed to sleep and then wake, for you, as I, as awareness was there all along, never not there, never not present to the dreams, to the stories of life.
So what wakes?
The mind holds a veil, seeming to divide the indivisible self, appearing to divide physical from spirit, to divide me from you—it is this that wakes.
It is the mind that awakens.
Like an ancient hologram wall it appears in the space of the self. The self, as space is never truly touched by the wall, but now can dance in the illusion of the movies of “me” that play in the mind wall.
The hologram mind-wall is only appearing in awareness, and it appears to be the self. And although it is made of the self, it holds the possibilities of ignorance or enlightenment. Of appearing to be solid and real, or appearing transparent and as a light-show.
Life, thank you grace for building me a window in the hall of mirrors of the mind, for cleaning that window so well that I could see what looked like “beyond”.
Thank you for making the gift of longing, a burning hunger for what I saw on the other side of the window. It looked like space, freedom, truth, and so I stared at that window and with all my heart wanted what looked like was on the other side.
And then life, you opened the window and my mind awoke. Realizing that the space on both sides of the wall were the same space. The same self.
I realized that I was never trapped and that you that is also I, was what I was longing for all along.
If you stare at the wall mind long enough, you’ll believe the movies it projects for you, and you might forget who you really are.
You are awareness.
You are the space in which the mind arises.
A mind that can be ignorant or enlightened.
The mirror wall of the mind hypnotizes, because it projected and veiled anything that your attention was on.
If you had attention on the body, the body appeared in the mirror wall of the mind. And so you looked at the body as if it were you. But you were always the one looking, you were always awareness, the space that is free of all walls.
If you focused your attention on the contents of the movie, on the mirror wall of the mind, you could be lost for eons, believing in the stories and suffering for them.
The mirror wall of the mind, when under enlightenment is seen for what it is, a mirror that can opens into a window.
A window of clear true seeing that feels like awakening because it brings the sense of freedom from the wall of the mind.
If the seeing is deep and the awakening progresses into realization and embodied enlightenment, then the projected and veiled illusions cast by the mind are seen thorough and lose their hypnotic spell.
Now your attention is no longer fixated by and locked on the objects that appear in the reflection of the mind, you rest attention in its source, which is you.
Ah that feels so much better.
The body and mind respond to resting attention in you as Awareness, because you are sacred medicine.
Over time the mind wall loses its power and the windows grows in transparency.
Thank you life for building a window in the mind, for opening the window and giving the opportunity for awakening.
Dear self, you are being called to fully realize your true nature, to deepen your seeing and to be sanctuary for all lagging remnants of ignorance.
Thank you for touching the rock and realizing that it loved you as you it, and on that bridge of love to have realized that you were indeed the rock and the hand that touched it.
Thank you for the vow and the prayer, that life, that grace take it all, and not leave anything behind that belongs to ignorance. That there be no “person” left, only presence, only the true self.
If you do not know this depth of self-realization, may you find your way back to yourself.
May all walls of the ignorant mind be made into windows of true seeing and true being.
When self-realization is done with us, we willingly lay our personhoods on the alter of truth.
We may even smile with gentle compassion at the pain and struggle we endured during the process of realization – as the truth laid to waste all boundaries and barriers.
For this enlightenment is not a gentle path—it is a dying path filled with destruction, but only the false is destroyed.
When we cry out in suffering as the ego and apparent separate self-cling to their walls of existence, it can feel like this path was the worst to take, for the truth cares more for our liberation and home coming than our separate self’s personal pain.
A surgeon is she, the hand of life.
And she cuts deeply at the cancer of spiritual blindness—but only if we have called out for her hand, and ached for the freedom of our true self.
Funny how we have cursed the surgeon’s hand of grace when it brought us to our knees weeping, only after the surgery did we fall again to our knees in gratitude.
May your heart, mind and soul open to the light of the true self, to become a radiant reflection of love, peace and joy.
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